FEAR is Ultimate BULLSHIT… So Why Does it Do So Much Harm?
It’s been a while since I wrote anything. In fact, I made a conscious effort to not write. Let me take that back. I really didn’t have to make much of an effort. For the last couple of years, I would rather eat glass than write! My first book, The Secret Language of Dogs, came out about three years ago. I think I was so overwhelmed and fearful of my mistakes with the first book that I just declared, “I am not a writer, I never intended to be, and maybe I just go out and work and not write.” That’s exactly what I did. That, everyone, is fear taking over!
The problem with that you might ask? Well, I am sure you can already figure out quite a few. First and foremost, what brought me to my knees and kept me from not just writing again but from LIVING was that pesky little thing called FEAR. Yes FEAR. Now let’s talk about this a second as I think many of us can relate to the story I tell, men or women. In particular, I speak to my fellow ladies who in the last five years had to completely transform themselves and were essentially forced by the universe and energy to look deep and get your REAL needs and wants in focus. We had to clear out everything else that no longer works or serves the soul. That was a deep sentence. But I am about to lighten it up a bit…
Let’s talk a little astrology. Even though I am not an astrologer, I do use and work with energy. That very energy has to do with our planets, the universe as a whole, the stars, earth, fire, water, air, and of course spirit. But I always say soul. Either way, you get the gist! For the last ten years, I have been telling my clients that the shift is coming. The shift in which we will all be forced to know our truth and to combat the fear and emotions that complicate our path. Not just for humans but for our animals as well. What was I teaching you might ask? I was teaching how to know the difference between old energy, old emotions, and old images compared to the new. More of understanding how something feels over everything else. How it feels, tastes and smells and how to let go of what is old and no longer works. I prepped everyone I could to know who he or she truly is and what he or she truly needs to do to conquer what was coming. The one person I did not do that for was myself. Therein lied the problem. I was motivating animals and humans to see their true intention, identity and their amazing potential – and I just let myself crumble to the side. “Huston, we have a problem!”
What happened? I can’t exactly explain, but I can say this. Somewhere along the way I lost connection to myself, what leads me and everything in between. I was fighting off a fourth back surgery in five years (the back represents emotion), my immune system was shot, all of a sudden my work slowed down, and clients were not flowing in as before. As an intuitive, I was having problems making connection and could hear…well, nothing. Not even myself. I hit a wall. Something I know many of us can understand. It was time for an intervention of sorts, a personal intervention with myself. One that forced me to look at how much fear I was floating in, how much I was taking on from others, and how I was neglecting the energy of not only my mind but my whole existence. I was compromised, and I was the one who did it. AND the only one who could fix it. Much like I tell everyone, “It’s all about you!” This was most certainly all about me, and the girl with “all the answers” had none. Now what?
I woke up one morning six months ago swimming in fear! So much so that it was affecting my work with others. I was missing the mark. How do I get rid of all this FEAR? I didn’t even know how built up it was, like some fucking bacteria. Fear is an illusion, a buildup of old static energy or old images that hold us back. I needed to spend some serious time finding out what exactly needed to be looked at and what exactly needed to be discarded. That was my new mission. To know the difference between what is old and bacterial (fear), and what is the new energy trying to get me to change. The tail end of a five-year shift had happened.
The last six months were not easy and I know many of you will agree as to your own personal journey. This energy is serious out there. And the one thing I discovered through this arduous but interesting journey is that this shift represents a solid truth within oneself. A truth not afflicted with excess emotion or a complicated mind, that doesn’t allow fear, and that supports your basic simple needs and wants, energetically and in the mind. Quite like animal! Me of all people should have known that. But god knows I make my fair share of mistakes that I learn from. This was a biggie – not just for me personally but for my passion to teach and motivate others through what I see and hear to help them find their true connection to self. Animal or human.
It was the animals in my world and the amazing messengers who always come through that propelled me to be an avid observer and listener to everything valid that the universe was providing. We actually get all the answers we need from nature around us, random messengers. Then we decide how we want to allow that energy to connect with ourselves to get through. That’s the real test as FEAR energy mainly resides in our minds. Can we use everything that’s already available to us, that costs nothing, that’s basic and connects with us personally so that we can abandon fear, take care of ourselves, see the bigger picture, and promote not just self-awareness but AWARENESS as a whole?
It’s NEVER about anyone else. It’s always about you! In this case, I needed to make it about me, take the challenge to really look, take ownership of my old shit and truly see what I allowed to wreak chaos in my mind and life. It’s not easy getting to know YOU and why YOU are really here. Not involving anyone else is an interesting challenge. I am not saying to walk around like an ego asshole. What I am saying is that for you to even have input on anyone else, you need to take some time to worry about YOU and walk with good intention.
This is just the beginning of our true shift, especially for women. It’s not just about rights, or who we are as a whole. I believe it’s truly about who we are individually, and then we have power as a whole. I made it my mission to get through the fear and live in a clear, efficient, basic mind and communication. In turn, it has allowed me to know the difference between fear (old thought) and what is clear. This has allowed me to understand new ways to get rid of what holds me back. BTW, checking in with yourself ten times a day to see where your body and mind are, how you actually FEEL and not what you think, certainly helps me. A moving meditation of sorts. Knowing this is a constant process and that it is not quick also helps. Anything that is worth it takes time and patience. Getting rid of and identifying fear is most certainly that. What matters is not how far we go but that we do it!
Every day I work on this process and not all days are good. And that’s okay! In this time, I changed how I do business, I was able to see where I am truly going, and how to get there. That’s something I had no idea of for months. But in society today, and the universe as a whole, we must learn to get real clear with ourselves, which in turn combats fear, which in turn allows us to go be and do whatever our soul truly wants.
So, take it from someone who claimed for a while “I should’ve known better.” I teach this stuff. I am this stuff. I rule my life by energy, the planets and I am a human mess! LOL…what happened? “Would a, should a, could a is irrelevant.” That is what I say to everyone who feels stuck or can’t get over the illusion of fear to be who they want. Go for it! Take a look and start the journey. Take it from someone who tackled it head on. You will be so happy you did.